Even after two months of sitting with my word for the year (clarity), my fear already seems smaller and more manageable. I have been slowly coming to the realisation that I already have everything I need within myself, and it is dissipating my concerns that others will withhold answers, or stop me from seeking and questioning, or that I'll always have this darkness clouding my mind and emptiness inside my heart.
I already know what I need to do. It's not a question of being told or figuring it out, it's a question of willpower and action.
Of course, the worries about how other people will react to me are still somewhat there - I can't control that, or even always predict it - but they hold much less sway, now that I remember that I'm okay by myself. I know I'll never really be alone, because I contain multitudes. It's all very old fashioned (God dwells within us) or new age (we are one with the universe).
Either way, I don't need to hold on to fear. So, farewell, my friend. Thank you for working to keep me safe, but I'll be okay. I have hope, more than ever, that things will be okay :) I can do this. The world seems lighter already.