February : Love
There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Love means sharing, giving some part of ourselves to another, with no control over how they react. It might be as simple as passing on a link to a new favourite song, or as complicated as writing poetry. As commonplace as making dinner every night, or as out of the ordinary as planning a ride in a hot air balloon. Because we love, the thing we share becomes more significant. And there's always the risk that our gift won't be accepted in the way we hoped, that our love won't be returned, that we'll be hurt - but when that love is returned, we each take part in the sharing, and rather than one person giving and the other receiving, we create together a new thing.
I love easily and deeply, my heart is often wrung and even broken, but so often it is filled and enlarged. The times I feel closest to Heavenly Father are the often the times that I feel closest to another person - the times I feel that I can see them the way He does, and for just a second share that divine perspective. I have, at times, tried to fill my time with hobbies and distractions to try and get over a heartbreak, to hide my heart away until it heals. But time alone doesn't heal, it only changes things, and putting up walls around my heart only made it more difficult for others (and Heaven) to get through.
Love hurts sometimes, but if there is no way for my heart to be safe, I would rather surrender to love than fight against it. Love has the power to connect us to each other, to treasured objects, to places and times. Because of love, we exist as more than just ourselves. Through love, we become part of the eternal and infinite. And while it is exasperating, awkward, distressing, troubling and difficult to share something without being sure how it will be received, the rewards are so great. Where Love is, there God is also. Where Love is, I want to be.